The Fat Reenactress

The Fat Reenactress

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Post   #4                                                     Wednesday, May 28th

My Best Accessory Ever....

I know it's been awhile since my last post. Now that things have calmed down somewhat...I will be able to post more, and share more photos of accessories and events and such. I'd like to use this post to explain what's been going on, and what my best accessory I have is.  If you hate sappiness, and sentimentality, I'll let you know may want to skip this post.

My husband, Terry, and I have been married for 14 years this coming November. Before that, we dated for 5 years (yeah....we wanted to be sure.) so it came to my attention that I'd been dealing with the same goofy man for almost 19 years. HOLY CRAP!!!! How can that be possible???? I'm only in my mid 20's!!!!! ( my brain butt says different...)

We met through a personal ad in the Smoke and Fire News, a newspaper dedicated to reenactors. (Cue up sappiness). We started off by writing to each other...then talked on the phone (this was the 90's folks....things were rustic back then...) Terry had put an ad in "looking for correspondence" in period correct style. He just wanted someone to write to. He had just gotten divorced after a 15 year marriage, and wanted to find women who actually LIKED this sort of hobby. Having had worked for Smoke and Fire before, I had been given a personal ad from the owner as a "christmas gift" a few years earlier (that's a WHOLE other story!!!) and although I had lost some AWESOME photos of myself from these earlier encounters (send a pic, they see you're fluffy, they never write they were Brad Pitt themselves...ugh) I figured "what the hell"....I'd give him a shot.
We started writing. He started asking for pictures. Ugh. I finally wrote and said "look, I'm fluffy...if you have a problem with that, let me know right now before either of us invest more time or effort (or emotions) into this, I don't want to lose another picture".

His response?

"I have found that very seldom does a person's outer beauty match their inner beauty. And with that, I want to be so bold as to say, that I am very much attracted to your inner beauty".

Yeah, he played me like a guitar.

How could I NOT meet him?

When I met him, I thought "meh, he's skinny, has a pencil thin mustache (what's up with THAT?) and smokes....guess I'll give him a shot".

Nineteen years later, he's my best accessory. If you don't believe me, check out all the photos I'm adding at the end of this post. I literally had to "upgrade" my keep up with him. Dude had me on my toes. I learned to sew more men's clothing  (still HATE it) but have learned alot about sewing and fitting techniques because of his "18th c.body".

We had an 18th century wedding in 2000. I would do that again in a heart beat. All he wanted for the wedding was 1) garlic mashed potatoes (done!) and 2) a harpsichord for the wedding (not an easy task)

So why the quietness of late from my blog?

Terry had become diabetic in 1976 while serving in the Air Force.   Thirty six years later, this came back to bite him on the ass.  When we first started dating, and in our early years of marriage, the diabetic specialist said his kidneys would "eventually fail". Eventually. Sounds like a long time from now.  15 years IS a long time....eventually came for us in 2012. That fall, Terry was diagnosed with renal failure. "Thirty six years of diabetes works hard on your kidneys." He would eventually need dialysis....but they said  it could be in a month, could be in 6 months. Yeah....we got rid of that doctor pretty quick.

In March of 2013, after routine testing, Terry was called by the doctor. "we need you in here to get a dialysis stent put in....but lets not ruin the rest of the day....come into the hospital tomorrow". So with that, we went in March of 2013 and Terry had a stent put in for hemo (blood) dialysis as well as a catheter tube so he could do peritoneal (solution in the abdomen) dialysis at home eventually. It would make him more mobile, and he would still be able to do some reenacting events....just using a hotel from now on. Terry now does home dialysis every night while he sleeps.

In May of that same year, tests on his left kidney were showing cysts of some sort. They decided it needed to come out, since hey, it really wasn't doing anything anyway. Turned out to be kidney cancer, but it was completely contained in the it was totally taken out, and we could still get geared up for a kidney transplant.

I wanted to donate my kidney to Terry, or to be put into the "pool" so someone else could trade out for mine if their donor matched Terry. This was where the doctor looked at me and said..."'''ummm....". I said "you calling me FAT???"  Basically....I am too heavy to donate (even though my bp and heart and everything is fine).  this is another blog post...dealing with being fat in the "real world".

After the success of his kidney removal, they found a small spot on Terry's lung that we had to wait 6 months to have checked again. If it hadn't grown, we were good to go onto a kidney donor list.

Earlier this year, Terry was having difficulties breathing. He thought it was a cold, asthma, whatever. When he finally had a CT scan of his lungs done (4 months after he could have/should have for the okay) they found that his lower right lung lobe had collapsed. We figured he aspirated something.

This was the second week of April. A quick trip to the pulmonary specialist showed a blockage with the biopsy. It was cancer in his bronchial tube, and it had blocked his lower lobe so that no air could go in, hence the collapsed lung.  Within the next two weeks, biopsies were done on his lung lobe, his lymph nodes nearest that lung (they were swollen) a full body CT scan occurred and another biopsy of another section of his upper right lobe (that was proven non cancerous, but merely scar tissue).  With all these tests and results, it was found that removal of his lower and middle right lung lobes was the way to go. That surgery occurred on May 12, 2014 (his left kidney was removed on May 10, 2013)....we jokingly say he's worried about his limbs for 2015 (or anything he has two of...)

So that, folks, is what I've been up to and why the Fat Reenactress has NOT been up to much. Although, just before his surgery, we DID get to go to an AMAZING steampunk convention in Cincinnati, which I'll post about in the next few days, now that Terry's home and healthy enough to complain about hurting.  (thank's better than the alternative).

But in all honesty....Terry IS my best accessory. No matter how good I look, I know I always look better on his arm. He has ALWAYS told me "yes or no" with great honesty.  I truly believe he wouldn't let me go out of the house looking like a fool. He always says he loves me, and he always compliments me when something turns out extra nice. This all adds to the one thing that makes each of us beautiful....our self esteem.  Not saying Terry makes me or breaks me....but dang, I was smart to give that skinny dude a chance.   Enjoy the photos.


  1. Like I've told you a thousand times, The most beautiful, touching thing that I have ever seen is the way that he looks at you when you aren't looking. Cudos for the skinny guy and to you for choosing him. The two of you are proof that love isn't just a fairy tale. :)

    1. Why you staring at my man while he's staring at me????

      (LUVS ya) :)

    2. I just can't help myself! LMAO!

  2. <3 Terry is such a wonderful guy. Everyone who meets him falls in love with him. You guys make such an amazing couple. Heres to many more years!!

  3. He pulls off 18th and 19th century very convincingly! I hope that eveything will go well with his health. The world can't lose two love doves like you!

  4. <3 Everyone deserves a love so true. Great post and a speedy recovery for Terry!

  5. He looks amazing and you're right an awesome accessory! Wishing Terry all the best in a speedy and healthy recovery.......

  6. This is adorable. I'll be praying for a happy and healthy recovery for you both!

  7. I understand a lot of your issues with being large in a world that rarely accepts larger women as beautiful....and so glad you found someone who appreciates all of your husband also loves me for me, but likes the extra padding! Please know that you are both in my prayers and hope for a full recovery! Love like you and he have together is just amazing and wonderful!